In the cold
I can
feel
the hole in my
bad
joint
where they drilled
with steal
to recreate
what had been broken

In the cold
I can feel
my way
right through
and it’s painful
but I’m forced to be near it
to keep warm

In the heat
we’re released
from our weakness
run through denial
like a sprinkler in
summer
but in the cold
in winter
when heat is a
luxury
in the cold
there is
a moment
discovery
and right
before we’re numb
what we feel
is real

You taught me
that even when I’m reeling
writhing in the sharp
suffering of my shortcomings
that in falling I went further
than I was before
you taught me not
to store
my strength
not to
score or rank
myself amongst the
achieved
not to grieve
what I’ve lost
or the casts that
I’ve paid in my efforts to
gain
not to think or act
in strength
in vain

Plain and simple
here, near to the parts of me
misnamed as ugly
my dignified delicate delicacies
that are no more fragile than
they are fancy
being weak
is the courage to speak
through the
short-sighted
survival as synonymous
with strength

vulnerability
is the ability
to feel and be
in fear
insecurity
without worrying if someone will
see

in the coldness of the world
there can be the boldness of a will
of one who doesn’t sell out
for the thrill
of being inspiring

but one who basks
in the glow
of her flame
burning low
of the wind
she faces
that almost erases her
bravery

you taught me
how beautiful and true
how little they knew
of living and dying
of surviving and thriving

cascading down a
window that
has seen more rain
now that I’m here
than it has in years
are our tears

failing
isn’t sailing
away
from control

if we are lucky
it is
life is
letting go
but feeling
but being
while we let go