I’m learning more and more
the space between each l e t t e r
now further apart with you,
now that I’m a part of you,
they aren’t even near
they can’t touch the meaning
inside and around them
they are leaning
trying to see
to understand
to hear in their own echo
the purpose,
the beautiful curse,
that found them first…
usually the story starts
and finds the beauty,
lying in the darkness,
the kind that no one saw
there all along
the hidden familiar
the meant to be
created reality
a meaningless song
that only has meaning
because it has been repeated
for far too long
those stories miss
the perfections in the flaws,
the inflections of light
that live in a darkness
so dense
so permanent in presence
so pregnant with heart-wrenching potential
that sight can’t find them,
our eyes can’t see them,
only once
they give up trying,
close and closed
they open up,
they erupt
and cry
tears breaking
their seals
losing
and lost again
what no one knows
you’ll learn there
thick
true
black
light
never
lies
white lies
fairy tales
are blinding
and binding
the monster
is a princess
who thinks
who feels
who wants
the monster
is the princess
that is real
the webs we weave
don’t tap into
a tapestry of harmony
but tangled
mangled
contorted and tortured
I’m wrapped
in the craft
in the work
that taught me my worth
I’m sleeping
in the clouds
that clear my mind
The nightmare
that we share
is a dream
in the darkness
not ready
to be seen
won’t regret
won’t white wash
sugar coat
or paint over
the pain I feel
everyday
the pain
the stir
inside
behind my eyes
behind my lies
the intensity
that keeps me
from staying
in line
stray with me
fall into the spaces
between
the cracks
and ruins
where what is right
is what feels right
tread in trouble
with me
be buried
alive
in the art
of my arteries
I’m the dragon that guards
the haunted castle
because I know
how the light
bakes
and mistakes
the shapes
that lay
the mystery
warm
wet
not ready yet
wait with me
take me back
to where
I never knew
I could start again
to where
I don’t
have to begin
Nothing about
the darkness
goes against
my will
Terror is
the way
they keep you still
I’m
mutating
and
you’re circulating
captivating
and cultivating
we’re waiting…
happily ever after
means there is a place
where risk and danger
are endangered
where life becomes monotony
the complexity
and endlessness of the dark
unrests me
I forever want to be
the monster
they make of me
